...these lanes are always open...

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

How The Bowling Hottie Came To Be

Back in my formative years, working in a run-down bowling alley in the smalltown city of Portland, Oregon, there was a personal ad published in one of the alternative papers (The Portland Mercury).

It was published in the "I Saw You" section. You know the one for chance incounters. The place where people write ads to people that caught their attention, but they were too nervous to give their number to. In other words, it was published in the best part of the paper and the ad read something like this:
BOWLING ALLEY HOTTIE
You're the hot one who works at that bowling alley across the street from that strip club. You gave me used shoes, retrieved my ball from the ball return and made funny jokes.
If I could find the archieve I would quote directly, but you get the idea.

Jason, my bitter love, found the ad and showed it to me and the others we worked with. He was certain The Bowling Alley Hottie mentioned was me, as was everyone else surveyed.

I was flattered, I was over-joyed. I tried to remember who this stranger who took such notice could be...an answer escaped me, but it certainly seemed plausable. I seemed more worth of the title than most anyone else who worked behind the bowl desk, handing out "used" shoes.

I was married, but I was also curious. So I went home and emailed the address linked to the ad. I wrote:

I am responding to the Bowling Alley Hottie ad. I work at Grand Central. Is that the bowling alley you were refering to?

My response came and informed me that yes, it was Grand Central. But it appeared that the name was somewhat feminine...hard to tell sometimes from email names. I asked if the bowl desk attendant was a man or woman. And she explained that it was a man with dark scruffy hair.

It took me a minute but I knew exactly who she was talking about: Dave. Dave is in his mid-30s. He is a very nice guy who plays in a band. He is a very nice guy, who has a bizarre temper that he frequently unleases on pesky, yet undeserving customers (an attribute he was later fired for).

I forward her message on to Dave.

I went to work the next day and explained to Jason and all that the famed Bowling Alley Hottie was Dave. Sneers were exchanged and I declared that I was the rightful owner of the title. No one argued and I have worn it proudly, drunkenly, nievely and honorably ever since.

I miss my bowling alley. I miss Jason. I miss Troy. I miss Portland. But the Bowling Alley Hottie in me lives on forever and always. It is something that formed me, something I can never forget and something that presents itself to me in the form of demons that I struggle everyday. The struggle is not in remembering, but in calculating and justifying that those years were not squandered away. Convincing myself that I was born, right there and everything I need to know, I learned by being The Bowling Alley Hottie.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Love Monkey

Wendesday night at a work-related dinner I told Sara, "I am getting old. I really am starting to like CBS primetime." She reassured me that wasn't the case. "No, CBS is getting better: younger." That being said, I can write the following review.

CBS premiered it's new show, Love Monkey, on Tuesday January 17th. The initial attraction for me was Tom Cavanagh. Of course Tom first broken into our hearts with the comedy/drama ED about a New York city lawyer who returns to his quirky small, midwest hometown of Stuckeyville after being fired and finding out his wife is sleeping with a mailman. He runs into Carol Vessey, the most popular girl from High School who he crushed on all four years. Under the temporary insanity caused by losing his wife and job, Ed ends up kissing Carol in the town's bowling alley and buying it the next day. Instantly he becomes the bowling alley lawyer, begins his 4 year love-struggle with Carol in a show that was Northern Exposure, plus bowling pins and Michael Ian Black.

That was Ed. Love Monkey is not Ed. First it doesn't have bowling alley appeal. Second, although the show starts in a similar way (Tom Cavanagh's character being fired), Tom's character "Tom" is no "Ed". Tom Cavanagh shows us he has testicles as he portrays a mans man in the dog eat dog musc world. Unlike the love-sick, fairy-tale romance of Ed, Love Monkey a cross between High Fidelity and Jerry Maguire. I say High Fidelity because the show has a TV-audience milder, but still very Nick Hornby feel. Also the lead character "Tom" is deeply involved both on a professional and personal level with music. Where High Fidelity (the movie) has John Cusack talking to the camera for the narrative device, Love Monkey uses the over-played voice over narration. I say Jerry Maguire for the plot of agent (music, instead of sports) being fired from a huge company to be independent and get back to the reason he loves the industry in the first place.

Love Monkey has heart centered in reality. Tom drinks with his friends, attempts to get women in the sack, finds challenge in his female best-friend (who of course will eventually be a love interest) and smack-talks with his three male buddies (one of whom is a slightly overweight Jason Priestley).

We will have to wait and see but Love Monkey could prove to be one of my favorites. Which of course, if it is anything like Ed, would mean that it would get moved around from night to night, then interupted for baskball games and eventually taken off the air.

The title of the show is the second biggest reason I tunned in for the pilot premiere and I am glad I did. I give it a 4 out of 5. Good job CBS. Let's see if you can keep it up.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Flickr

I hate Yahoo...yet they seem to buy everything I love.

I just uploaded a bunch of stuff from the holidays on flickr...some of my favorite tags include annarbor, drinking, riley and chicago.

Check 'em out: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bowlinghottie/

Love to all.