Parenthood is Strange

Parenthood is strange and it involves a lot of change, but so do so many things in life. I know that sounds corny, but I wont retract it. I've gone through a lot of changes lately and I'm not ready to talk about them directly...but they have made me want to write more. That which does not kill me...makes me want to be a better person.

Untitled (for now)
by Eva G. del Vecchio-Porter
April 26th, 2005

My dad always said,
"I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you"

When I was young
it made me feel special
when I was older
and he witnesses the birth
of the woman he loved's baby
it made me wonder
So I asked,
"Did you love Aven, the minute he was born?"

He took a moment to recover.
"It didn't feel the same,
but I knew I would love him."
I wonder if he was lying.
I wonder if he was over thinking
what I wanted him to say.

Now, as a mother,
I wonder if I'll be able to lie
to my children
if I will want so much
to protect them that every word
will be geared at making them happy.

I didn't love my first born child,
my son,
the moment I met him.
He will learn through experience
I am selfish
I was happy when he was born
I was happy I had done it
I was happy he was healthy
and beautiful
But I didn't love him
Until I got to know him.

And everyday I love him
a little more
because I know who he is
a little more.